A $45 Band-Aid®

Last week while home by myself with the girls while Drew was out of  I was busy getting ready to go out of town the next day.  I had both girls upstairs playing what I thought was safely in Natalie's room.  The gate to the downstairs was shut so Elin couldn't topple down the steps.  I thought I had a good five minutes to go my thing.

About three minutes into me hustling around downstairs I hear a thud.  Being no stranger to thuds, I thought nothing of it, until I didn't.  I heard nothing.  Nothing and then a big something.  The something being a scream.  I flew up the steps to find Elin's mouth wide open, silent screams coming out, along with a lot of blood.  I grab her and try to calm her down, all while trying not to freak out myself.  Her two top teeth are just becoming full size, so I'm fearful that she's already knocked those out and will be toothless until the age of 8.  I manage to calm her down and grab a wet washcloth for her to suck on.  As the blood clears, I see a gash under her lip and it's so deep i figured she must have bit all the way through it.  I cannot see the inside of her lip due to her being so fussy and the blood still slightly pooling.  I asked Natalie what happened.  Apparently Elin was trying to climb into the baby doll cradle and fell
.
I call my mom in a panic asking her to come over because I may have to bring Elin into Urgent Care for a stitch.  She comes and agrees the cut does look pretty deep.  By this time we've both realized that thankfully she didn't bite all the way through her lip. 

I drive to Urgent Care with a half hour to spare before it closes.  After a mere 5 minutes of waiting, the nurse calls "Ellen" to come back.  I almost didn't respond because I wasn't sure she was talking to us, as my daughter's name is Elin, not Ellen.  I correct her and all is well.

We head back and she has to stop and get a height and a weight before we get to the room.  Why babies (or anyone) needs a height and a weight for a cut lip is beyond me.  What if this was a REAL emergency?  If her lip was dangling by a thread would they still insist on a weight??
After asking the series of allergy and travel questions, it's now time to get her blood pressure, heart rate AND oxygen levels.  This is getting ridiculous.  The toe thing they put on babies to read O2 levels isn't working and Elin is fighting to yank it off.  I swear this ordeal continues for five minutes.  All while I'm sweating, trying to contain my 14 month old who is still bleeding a bit and getting more blood on her arms, hands and me.

The results of the important tests are in and finally it's time for the nurse to exit and the doctor to enter.  But of course not until we are waiting in the room for 10 minutes while Elin is squirming and the power goes out.  Twice.  I'm not sure what happened, but I've never had the power go out in a doctor's office before.

The young doctor finally makes his entrance to the room and takes a look at the cut with his scope and flashlight.  "Well, it's not that deep" he says and I am left looking like the typical over-reactive parent.  I say a few things on how it looked deep and he neither agrees nor disagrees.  I keep talking nervously because there's nothing else to be said and he's not rushing to get out of there (surely trying to earn his money) so he finally mumbles something about a band-aid and excuses himself again.  He comes back with a band-aid for a cut double the size and attempts to put the medication-covered bandage on Elin's chin.  Shockingly enough, she hates it.  I'm about to tell him to forget it, but I don't have the energy.  I'm sure he just wants to make me feel less dumb about making this trip for nothing.  Instead he wants to make me feel better by leaving with a band-aid that will cost $45 in a co-pay and the insurance company $200.

We got to the car where Elin was still sobbing about the band-aid.  I ripped it off and she was fine the rest of the night.

She has risen.

Well, I've dusted off the ol' keyboard and am going to attempt to resurrect this here blog.  I can't guarantee how long it'll last or if it'll even make it past this post, but I'm going to give it a shot!  Instagram seems to have killed the blog world, but I do miss actual reading blogs of yore.  Prior to glamorizing their lives on the handheld screen, one snap at a time, people actually took time to write, which was fun!  I don't know really what my excuse is for deserting my blog, except that it's a dedication to write a blog post and it can take time if you want it to be good, juicy ramblings! 

My last post was November of 2014.  Almost four years ago.  Seems like a lifetime.  A lot has happened since then.  Some of the highlights: I've had a child, gotten married, moved homes (and cities) and had another child.  I'm still currently residing daily for 8 hours in the same old blue office chair in Hastings, Minnesota and have gained a lot more knowledge in the filing industry.  So if you are ever in need of filing assistance, I'm your main point of contact.  Never forget it.

My weeknights spent golfing, bowling and playing kickball have been replaced with cleaning up spilled milk, playing with and chasing two sassy, yet very cute daughters, and watching whatever trending (or not trending) shows are on Netflix.  Of course that's not ALL I do, but the life with small children as of now is pretty much set in a predictable pattern.  And I'm fine with that for now.  :)

I've been on a couple pretty awesome road trips in the last few years with my husband.  For our honeymoon, we pretty much got in the car and drove.  We had a route set until the night before we were set to leave and a fight about the route broke out while packing and I thought the world was crashing down.  It wasn't, and it all was fine and it ended up to be a great, memorable trip.  We drove to the Gulf of Mexico, stopping in Nashville, and Louisville on the way.  We made a pit stop in New Orleans, stopped a few places on Route 66 on the way back and caught a movie in Independence, Missouri on our last night.

We are set for another short trip coming up.  We have no set plan so we'll see where the road brings us.  Maybe I'll blog from the road...?  Or maybe I won't make empty promises!

Well, it's been fun getting my fingers tapping on these keys again and putting something out there for whomever still gets email updates about this here blog.  Hopefully I'll be back real soon!

Trolling Craigslist: Free Stuff

Sometimes my dad and I like to browse the "Free" section of Craigslist just for kicks.  Then we'll email the listings to each other and crack up.  We love to find out what "great finds" people are willing to put out there instead of just throwing away.  While looking the other day, a few caught my eye and I thought I would share.  It's not always the item itself that makes the cut of stupidity, but the brilliant editing (or lack of) that went into the description of the free item.  And sometimes it's a little combination of both the item and the description.  Here goes, in order of not-so-bad to horrible:

Item 4. Trampoline.

 

 

Could you get a little further away from the Trampoline next time?  I know there's a ton of snow out in your backyard and probably loads of dog poop to avoid, but a picture from a little closer than 50 yards away would be nice.  Especially so I can get a close up of the "kissing" metal pole.  Please explain what exactly that is...

Item 3: Plastic Tables and Chairs

 

 

Oh Rick, Rick, Rick....please...don't waste my time by posting this ad if you can't even set the chairs and tables upright to take the picture.  I mean I know you're moving and all and are in a rush to get rid of your shit, but please, just leave them on the deck for the next sorry soul to deal with or throw them away.  If I remember correctly, those things snap apart on a dime, so just pay the neighbor kid a few bucks to smash them with a baseball bat and they'll fit in your garbage can just fine.  Don't make us waste your time twice by asking for another picture of them in their correct, upright position.

 

Item 2: Little Tikes Picnic Table

 

 

 

Where to even begin?  There is so much wrong with this I suppose I'll just start from the top.  The grainy, out of focus picture?...if you're going to rip off a picture from the internet, at least know how to correctly search for an image that is the right size so it won't be a pixelated mess when you upload it.  And while we're at it, don't steal images off the internet and think that people are dumb enough to believe that's the actual picture of your item.

Thank you for letting us know the squirrels are evil in your neighborhood.  Because they are perfect angels everywhere else I've seen.  A little duct tape would make it perfect?  Why didn't I think of that??  Or better yet, why didn't you?  Can't you just fix your own table with duct tape and keep it in your squirrel infested yard?  I'm sure the kids that you force to sit there will welcome fraying silver tape sticking to their sweat pants when they try to get up from arts and crafts time.  And I am absolutely shocked that the umbrella isn't included!  What ever could have happened to it?? 

And I will be sure to flick off the squirrels as I drive off with my new, perfectly chewed up plastic picnic table.  I'm sorry you couldn't keep your patio chairs around--maybe you should have put them on Craigslist for free, too.  I'm sure a little duct tape would have kept those puppies in perfect shape for a few more years.  Let me know how it goes next year with those squirrel traps. 

 

Item 1: Balloons

 

 

FINALLY!  The Gods have smiled down upon me and answered my prayers!  You don't how long I've waited to find four, pre-blown up balloons in random colors.  And for FREE at that!  These are just the thing I need!

Seriously???  What the??  Who in their right mind would take the time to take a picture of four, non-helium filled balloons, type up an ad and upload it to Craigslist and try to get rid of them??  Probably the same kind of person who gives out mints as Halloween candy (see basket in picture).

I have some other ways you could get rid of them...need I list them?

     1. Keep them around for two days and they will eventually shrivel up into avocado size balls and  

         you can throw them away.

     2. Do you have a pin, a knife, a fork, a match?  All of these will get rid of the balloons in a snap.

     3. Give them to the guy with the picnic table and his squirrels will probably take care of them for

         you.

"Our loss is your gain."...?  Ok, now this is a bit dramatic, don't you think?  It will more than likely be your loss because by the time you find someone stupid enough to drive to pick up four random balloons, they will have been deflated, right along with your ego.

 

Family Photo

This past weekend my grandma had us all over to celebrate my mom and my birthdays.  We ate homemade stew, Kris's homemade cookies, opened gifts, and laughed at the little character Niall is becoming!  It was a lot of fun.  With only a few groans from the peanut gallery, I was able to get an updated family picture.  We haven't taken one for about 3 years.  It's sad to not see my grandpa in pictures anymore but we now have the special addition of Niall and Drew.  By the looks of it, Niall will be taking over as comedian in the family.  His Great Grampy would be proud!

The Armpit of Home Improvement Stores



I am officially boycotting Menards for an unknown amount of time.  It could be a month, it could be a year.  It probably won't be forever because I can't hold a grudge that long, but I am really upset with them at the moment.  I had a meltdown at the customer service counter on Sunday and it wasn't pretty.  I would have said a lot more and had planned to say a lot more to the lady at the counter but I was on the brink of tears and I didn't want to lose my cool AND my emotions both in the span of 1 minute.  The story is hard to explain over type and I get a lot more animated when I tell the story in person, but the story goes a little something like this:

I went to Menards Sunday morning at 7:40 (not knowing it opened at 8:00), waited 20 minutes to get in to buy TWO things:  a heat register and a threshold for the floor transition between the kitchen and hallway.  Of course, being the sh!t hole store it is, they only have ONE of two possible registers that I need in stock.  I didn't know the exact measurements so I was going to buy one of each size and return one.  One size was totally emptied out and the other size had ONE left and not to mention, it had a small bend in it.  So I kind of wandered around hoping to find an employee who could check in back for more for me but no luck.  So I walked over and got the threshold and went back to the register aisle.  After waiting for about two minutes I decided to leave the aisle and see if I could get some help.  So I walked up the main aisle and met up with this tall dope of a guy who works in the paint department and is ALWAYS there and he is just a huge dufus and a complete moron and not to mention totally RUDE.  I asked him if I could get some help in the register aisle.  So he waltzes as slow as he can over to his precious paint desk, helps someone else first and then calls someone to come and help me.  As I'm staring him down the entire time, he shouts over: "he'll be right there".  So I go back to the aisle and wait and wait and wait and wait.  By this time my blood is boiling and I'm on the verge of just throwing my two items into the middle of the aisle and walking out.  Instead of losing my cool in the aisle with nobody around, I march up to the service counter in the front of the store where a man is filling out some paperwork to rent a some equipment and another lady is kind of fiddling with her receipts so she's really not in line yet.  So I go up to the older lady at the counter (rather than dealing with the two teenage workers who won't care, anyway), slam down my two items and in the middle of my hands shaking, my voice trembling and me trying to hold back tears I say something along the lines of this: 

               "Hi.  I'm sure you don't care but I'm going to tell you anyway.  I came here and waited in your parking lot for the store to open to buy TWO things...TWO THINGS!  I come in here and out of all the registers and popular sizes, you have ONE of the two most popular sizes.  One bin is completely empty and the other had ONE.  I asked the F*cking DOPE in the paint department to help me and he waltzed as slow as he possibly could over to his desk to call on the walkie talkie to have someone come over and help me.  I waited and waited and waited and nobody came.  So now I have to drive to WOODBURY to get these two things when I live five minutes from here.  GOODBYE!"

And with that, I turned and walked out, slamming the door open (and PRAYING that I was pushing open the right side, as opposed to the side with the hinges!) as I left and shouting "God this store irritates me!"

 

And that is why I am currently boycotting Menards.  I'll save big money elsewhere.

Out with the Old, In with the Used

Last week was a tough week.  Well, at least at the beginning of the week.  I had to say goodbye to my original baby to make room for a new baby that will be breathing and will require a car seat.  After 8 glorious years together the MINI and I had to part ways and I said hello to my new, 4-door sedan.  I don't know why, but the word "sedan" seems so granny-ish to me.  I'll just stick to the word "car" from here on out.  The new girl is a few years old but on the bright side, looks and feels new and has a lot more power than the MINI.  Not that I could ever compare anything to the MINI, but if I was going to get a new car, I needed wanted one with more power and a few more gizmos.  Although it was very hard to say goodbye and I did shed some tears at the dealership, I know the tradeoff is going to be well worth it!  Change can be a very good thing.

The Station

The Station

by Robert J. Hastings

     Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision.  We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent.  We are traveling by train, out the windows we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant, of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and village halls.

      But uppermost in our minds is the final destination.  On a certain day at a certain hour we will pull into the station.  Bands will be playing and flags waving.  Once we get there so many wonderful dreams will come true and the pieces of our lives will fit together like a complete jigsaw puzzle.  How restlessly we pace the aisles.  Damning the minutes for loitering---waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.

     "When we reach the station, that will be it!"  We cry, "When I'm 18."  "When I buy a new 450 SL Mercedes Benz!"  "When I put the last kid through college."  "When I have paid off the mortgage!"       "When I get a promotion."  "When I reach the age of retirement, I shall live happily ever after!"

     Sooner or later we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and for all.  The true joy of life is the trip.  The station is only a dream.  It constantly outdistances us.

     It isn't the burdens of today that drive men mad.  It is the regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow.  Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today.

     So, stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles.  Instead, climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more, cry less.  Life must be lived as we go along.  The station will come soon enough.