I usually reserve this blog space for mainly lighthearted posts about things I find amusing or projects around my house but this morning, or at least for this post, I am changing it up a bit. Warning: This post is long, contains no pictures and is full of bad punctuation.
I am sure all five of you who read this blog know that I am single. It's no secret. Some of you may also know that I am the Queen of Blind Dates. Not that there's anything wrong with that, you just think that maybe that one of these times, it would have worked out, or at least led to more dates.
I am one of the last of my close friends to be married. A lot of them are starting to have kids now and I am nowhere near that. Not that I should compare my life to theirs because I do lead a great life in many ways, it's just very hard to see your sibling and your close friends moving in the right direction while I'm stuck in Bad Blind Datesville, going nowhere fast. Some may say I am too picky but they haven't been in my shoes so they don't know. Some say there's nothing wrong with being picky. I'll go with that.
Last night was no exception. I was set up on a blind date and no offense to the person reading this who set me up, I know you didn't know him personally, it was a friend of a friend so it's not your fault. Last night was the worst date I've ever been on. I should have seen it coming after his first string of mind numbing text messages the weekend before Thanksgiving where in the span of four messages, he mentioned that he was "excited for the short week" three separate times. Deep down, I knew it right then and there that he wasn't for me but I went with it, chalking it up to "he's just nervous". Insert the second night of texting (still while not asking me out... who has a conversation with a stranger via text??... I mean if we both know that we are supposed to be going on a blind date, just cut to the chase and let's set something up. Mindless banter via text message with a stranger is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.) where he again starts his conversation by saying something weird and then for lack of better things to say, mentions once again that he's excited for the short week. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Since his text was more of a statement than a question, I ignored it and decided this guy is not worth persuing.
Low and behold over a month goes by and he texts me again at the beginning of this month. I couldn't believe my eyes. For a minute I thought this was a sign that he might be the one. Who contacts a stranger after a month of absence after they didn't respond to your "excited about the short week" comment? The angel on my shoulder told me to go for it. I opened my mind and told myself that those beginning texts were just nerves and that he is probably a good guy. Although he did proceed to have an actual conversation with me via text message rather than calling or just setting up a time to get together, I again, ignored the devil on my other shoulder and told myself to suck it up. The following night when another text came through and I could sense another drawn out conversation similar to the night before where topics consisted of his sisters trip to Mexico and asking if I bait the fish myself even though he knew that I don't fish (you think I'm kidding...), I nipped it in the bud and told him I was free this weekend if he wanted to get together. To spare my sanity I said we could talk later in the week and decide where and what time to meet. This was hopefully the subtle hint he needed NOT to text me again until we meet face to face.
Fast forward five days and we meet up for our date. You know how they say "you'll just know". Well "I just knew" within five minutes that I was never going to see this guy again after this date. It was the longest three and a half hours of my life. There were so many things wrong with it that if I listed them all you would probably not believe me and some of the things that he did I cannot imitate over type. I spent the entire evening listen to him ramble on about his dog for a solid 20 minutes, his neighbors, his friends, his friends dogs and his friends ex-wives. He did spend a good half hour talking about HIS job. Oh and some of the snippets of his rambles were things like how him and his friend make their own alcohol and how he tackled someone on a party bus. Seriously?? I think the only thing he found out about me was what I do for a job (and that is just while we were in the lobby waiting for a table, so I hardly got to elaborate) and my bowling average. He never asked about me. Is it so much to ask to take a little interest in the person who is sitting across from the table from you? The person who is starving, no-less because she didn't eat after work, thinking that (duh!) people usually eat or at least ask the other person if they are hungry while on a date! But no, the poor waitress kept coming over and asking us if we were fine as the menus just sat on the edge of the table teasing me while my stomach begged me to open one. But nope, he didn't offer so I didn't eat. Who doesn't at least ask a person if they are hungry?!?
Like I said, he found out nothing about me. Nothing. I tried to fit in things that I could relate to as he rambled on but if I said something (for instance, I had the opportunity to mention that we gutted my entire bathroom last winter) it was like I didn't even say it. Did he not hear me? He was looking right at me but declined to comment. I was begging for time to go by faster but no luck. At one time I went to the bathroom and texted the code phrase "Chandler's been in accident" (fast forward to about 3:50) to my friend. That's the first time I've ever had to use it. Three and a half hours, two beers for me, three for him, no food and some not-so-subtle-hints-that-we-should-go later, we left. I am not even going to mention that I finally really took note of what he was wearing because that would be really shallow of me.
Thankfully we had to go separate ways to our cars and he asked if we could go out again and he threw in an excited-sounding "dinner next time?" like I was getting some sort of reward or something. I of course couldn't be mean and say no to his face so I will wait until he texts me next to shoot him down.
I got in my car and I was in shock. Total shock as to what had just happened in there. All of a sudden I have tears in my eyes. I called my mom to give her an update and the tears started to flow. I don't know what came over me. I woke up extra-early this morning and the flashbacks of the awful events of the night before came back to me and tears came again. Even now as I type this, re-hashing the details, I have tears. I'm not quite sure why...I don't even have my period, I shouldn't be this emotional! Maybe it's because I thought 31 was going to be a good year for me. Maybe because earlier this week Nat The Fat Rat wrote the sweetest post about how her and her husband met and it made think that something like that could happen to me. Or maybe the tears are just plain anger. Anger that a stranger that you are supposed to be "getting to know" on a first date can be so oblivious and self-involved that they don't take the time to find anything out about you. I am not sure. Either way, I vowed to my mom that I am never being set up again on another blind date and I am giving up. She said she doesn't blame me and that maybe if I give up, something will come along when I least expect it. My mom is usually right about everything so I am going with it.
I am sure in a few days I may somehow find the humor in it all but right now I am still sad. Thanks for sticking with me through this.
Now back to regularly scheduled blogging.
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