It's a jungle out there

10 tips on how to grow an un-successful garden:

1. don't lay plastic down before you plant.
2. make sure the squares in the garden fence are big enough to let rabbits in for dinner.
3. when you find a few random pumpkin seeds sprouting up, leave them grow and take over everything.  you will be bummed out at first when you dream of the elaborate pumpkin patch you will have... but don't worry, you will get one measly green pumpkin by mid september and it will be as big as a baseball.  oh, and when the vines start creeping out of the fence and into your lawn, it's no big deal -- that just means you now have less grass to mow.
4. don't keep up with your weeds... a few weeds here and there and mountains of broad leaf grasses won't hurt anything.
5. don't water daily.  watering is over-rated.
5. make sure to over-plant -- they won't get that big.
6. don't keep up with picking the rhubarb--the less you pick, the more it grows.
7. make sure you plan to have a garden when the summer days are filled with massive heat and humidity and no rain.  a dry garden is a happy garden.
8. don't put insect preventer on more than once-- once is enough in my book.  who cares if you have nibble marks on that single, quarter-sized green pepper you have growing.
9. plant your green pepper and jalapeno plants in the most shaded area -- they hate the sun.
10. decide to put tomato cages around your tomato plants once they have grown about two feet and started to slump over -- it's much easier that way.


** editors note:  did anyone notice that i put two #5's?  i didn't until i went back to fix a type-o.  oh well, i am not going to change the title to 11 tips, that would just look ridiculous, and removing one of the tips would just be cruel!  people must have all the appropriate information if they are going to plant a lousy garden.

Wow, it's unreal what four short months can bring, huh?  I must say, it's quite impressive.

Oh well....at least the tree (bottom left) from a random seed got bigger.  The food in the garden didn't provide me much, but at least the tree will give me the oxygen I am going to need to yank all of those weeds out in a couple weeks!